• 

February 14! What a time to be alive y’all. If you are like me then you normally spend your day glued to your phone stalking lovers while trying to Netflix and chill so you don’t feel completely bad. Well truth is I always thought valentine to be super corny and unnecessary. For lack of a better word I was a hater; cause what?? Where do you all find these people that send you surprise packages and flowers? Did I miss the promo day when they were sharing them? I’ve seen people question themselves because of lack of affection on Valentine’s Day and I’ve seen people go beyond their limits just to keep up with the joneses.

• 

This year though I decided to view it all from a different perspective and I allowed myself to be “oppressed” by the amount of love being thrown around. It really is a wonderful thing to see; that with everything going on in the world, my generation can still pull through and go out of their way to show that they are still capable of love. From the different packages that wouldn’t stop jumping in my face every time I went on instagram to the posts of people that already started receiving valentine gifts way before we entered into February. I won’t lie I was super irritated at first; but the more I thought about it the more I realized I was missing the point, same as a lot of other people.

• 

Valentine is a day of love and there is no rule that says without a partner you can’t celebrate love. If we look all around us, there are so many people close to our hearts that we tend to forget not because we want to but because life happens. Celebrating valentine could be as little as sending a text to all the people you genuinely love and reminding them that you absolutely cherish them. It could be as big as giving back to the society and could be as elegant as spoiling yourself silly. Allow love to ooze from within you and flow towards the people around you.

• 

Well here is my little love letter to you:

Times are changing, the world is evolving;

But one thing is for sure, you’re never alone;

Take a peek into your mirror and be proud of what you see;

Cause you’re a blessing to yourself and the world around you;

You’ve come a long way so give yourself a tap on the back;

For here is another chance to remind yourself how awesome you are;

And if your voice isn’t loud enough then open your ears wide;

For deep within you are treasures yet unseen;

And right above you is a God that never sleeps.

Happy valentine’s day sweet readers; I hope this puts a smile on your faces.💌❤

• 

• 

Where I come from,

The privileged female child is a symbol of victory for those who think they fight for her rights.

Where I come from,

Ironically, the male child, though born surrounded by opportunities and leverage;

Seems to be the victim of many unsung battles,

For how shall it be heard of that a man shed a tear?

Where I come from,

There is a thin line between open mindedness and sin;

For alas,  sin abides all around us.

Where I come from,

Religions are apart,

But even more disturbing is the battle of who is better amongst the branches of the same religion.

Where I come from,

The minorities are not the poor,

Rather the minorities are us all, we who shiver at the sight of the men in black who themselves are nothing more than puppets in the hands of the master.

Where I come from,

The people eat corruption for breakfast, down it with poverty and go to bed still digesting the fearful morsel of insecurity that so gallantly flows in them.

• 

Where I come from,

Thoughts of feeling unwanted and suffocated, which gradually leads to a desperate need of air are unacceptable; for how shall it be said that a black man is depressed;

Surely that must be the white man’s nonsense.

Utter rubbish they say, until that air is taken by force, poison down the throat or jumping off a bridge.

Where I come from,

Racism is sung of beautifully; how convenient it is that the verse where we ourselves are the propagators of this disease is sung off key.

• 

• 

Let it not be said though that where I come from only gloom abounds;

For where I come from,

The sun rises and it also sets.

Where I come from,

A movement that started as a mere cry of pain turned into a revolution;

For although we were shut by being shot (sho get😉, o get😒, oya forget psst🚶‍♀️)

Where I come from,

The youths, do not take NO for an answer;

For an attack that was meant to tear us apart has made us closer than ever.

• 

I would love to reminisce further but where I come from,

Such attitude is deemed unnecessary and talkative;

For where I come from,

The words of males adorned as females and front fighters in the war of promiscuity are devoured happily as opposed to the words of a sage.

Well that’s just my view, now go ahead and drop a comment on something distinct about where you come from. Have a blessed week.

• 

Life is long or life is short, life is hard or life is a bed of roses;

 Life is fun or life is shitty, this life no balance or we all get what we deserve;

 Everything is about perspective;

Whether you are myopic or hyperopic in your sight is all in your hands;

It’s a new year, some dreams are fading and some are getting clearer

The paranoia of growth sets in, fear of social class and account balance

Would I be so boxed up I’ll get all I want?

Would I be the friend every other person in the clique has to send money to?

Intoxicated by the unknown, replete with thoughts of the unseen

The malaise of cause’s unknown, constant headaches

The pills grow effete but the swallowing continues

Is school really a scam? Did I waste off 5 years of my life?

Do I need a side hustle? Oh! I should start a business

The head hits the pillow, the worrying continues

Another awakening, another business idea

An unending cycle of stress, sweats and panic attacks

Let me help you lance through your misery

Let me shine light on your fears

Let me amplify your thoughts

Let me maximize your nightmares

Oh shit! You thought I had some sage things to say didn’t you

Oh well sorry but I ain’t no magus

I’ll tell you this though, water your fears and the stress

Allow them to grow into the motivation you need them to be

Let them be the guide on your path to success

Let them be the ink with which you write your story

Don’t get overwhelmed, don’t let them consume you

But don’t let them loose their grip either

Sit above them so that while they fuel your engine you never lose the wheel

For when you lose the engine your dreams stop and when you lose the wheel your life stops

It’s a battle and only the strong will overcome

Happy New Year

I just understood how funny this thing called power is, how easily it changes hands and moves from person to person giving each an opportunity to display their greed that often times translates into ruthlessness. Power could be political, economic, traditional, military and physical, but regardless of any of these designations, the common factor among all of the forms of power that exist is the tendency for it to be abused. As a people, we have suffered from all these forms of abuse from our “leaders” down to our “police” force, and we have been driven to the point of fear and apathy. Ever so afraid of getting killed we just let things continue and put things in God’s hand, hoping and praying for a change, and as Nigerian as we are, we continue with the suffering and smiling.

The other thing about power is that, any wielder of power will do everything in their might to continue wielding power, and their ultimate go to is none other than intimidation and instilling of fear, once that is done and they have a timid and fearsome lot as followers, they have leverage and that’s all they want. With leverage, anything is possible, they can get us to do anything they want and agree with anything they say, this is the reason they keep coming up with all these cock and bull stories to cover for their obvious misdealing and don’t give a hoot whether or not it’s ridiculous, because they know that they have some leverage. The worst kind of leverage is the mental leverage, which our government has on us, we are haunted by what might be and what ifs that we forget the part we play and the power we have in democracy, even in this so called democracy of ours. So out of fear for what we fear, we let what we fear pounce on us and have us as meals, through some other route. The average Nigerian is scared of a confrontation with the government and though afraid to die as we are, we still die although this time not as a result of government confrontation, but as a result of government negligence which is of course, easier to handle. Sad innit?

If it’s not banditry, boko haram, herdsmen, unknown gunmen ravaging lives in the North, it is SARS ending young bloods in the south. We keep shouting and crying, hoping and praying, complaining and insulting, wishing and wishing that all of these inhumanity will end, but our leaders, do nothing, absolutely nothing. Their silence and feigning of ignorance on what is going on will make you think they are running the country from another galaxy. And until they are pushed from all sides, they will say nothing, when they eventually do, it is one sorry excuse for a political statement after another. You will see bold on the newspaper that FG, EXPRESSES SHOCK OVER SO, SO AND SO MATTER. What should we do with your SHOCK???

Every giant that sleeps will surely awaken, and most of the time they wake up hungry and angry. Nigeria has pushed her children to the wall and they must revolt! How many mothers and fathers have lost their children to this? How many children have lost their siblings to this? And for what? Condolence messages from the Federal Republic of Nigeria in the least empathic of ways, written in the most callous manner by one social media assistant of the government. We deserve accountability from the government, they are not supposed to represent themselves and their interest, they are meant to represent the people. And as a people, to a government that has forgotten that sovereignty lies with the people in a democratic state, our duty is that we must remind them.

And to as many Nigerians and supporters all over the globe that match to be heard on the #EndSARS issue, I say let us continue the fight for humanity and right living! Solidarity forever!

Parents have the most erratic tendencies and most, if not all of the time, their kids are at the receiving end of their new discovery or adventure of the season. For some, it could be a new pill, or a new routine, or a new spice, or a new discovery about some disease or a new trend or information, most of which we have to sit and watch these laughable and obviously edited WhatsApp videos and read super long and unexciting broadcast messages. Surely you have been a victim of your parent’s love, care and curiosity.

Taking a short nap after morning devotion is like the crux of my morning, it’s equivalent to a daily dose of caffeine… if I do say so myself. So hearing my name that morning as the output of my mother’s yell was a real puzzle to me. After long minutes of bewilderment at the tone of her voice, and mustering the strength to stand up, I finally did, brokenheartedly of course and went out to meet my mom. And there she stood in all her motherly glory with garden tools, seedlings and a large smile of determination on her face. If only the tone of her voice rendered me startled and left me puzzled, then this vision of my mom all armored up had me drowning in the pool of confusion. All that went through my mind in that moment was “Oh no not again“

Ignoring all the tools which bothered me was hard, but then I was able to look past that and just return her smile and ask her why she called me. Expecting and at the same time praying against the obvious response and still trying to figure out the situation, she broke the news that would change the course of my very long break forever and ever and ever (dramatic emphasis intended). The last time I held a hoe was probably in secondary school and trust me, those memories were better left undisturbed. But as you would have guessed, I’m not the best at, you know, agricultural processes (lol I would have just said farming/gardening but naaaah). But this was the beginning of something I would come to love and appreciate.

So standing opposite my mom, still in between sleep and the reality of having to weed around the small space, which would come to be our garden, and with my least favorite invention of man (a hoe), my mother’s exuberance was somewhat disturbing but I managed to snap out of it and just focus on doing something completely away from what I’d been doing. So we started with sweet melons, corn, okra and proceeded to peppermint leaves, cucumber, garden eggs, pepper, alefo, tomatoes, waterleaf, basil leaves and a variety of other things. In the beginning waking up in the morning and having to miss my short nap which is most of the sleep I get, just to make sure the plants are watered the days it didn’t rain or just to check on their progress was a bother to me, I didn’t like it but then I got used to it and after a while I even started to look forward to it.

The thing I realized about gardening was that it spared me time to think, breathe and feel positive energy coupled with the joy of experiencing growth from scratch. I got to realize and learn lessons that weren’t in books or classrooms, things that only experience could teach and the most important lesson I learnt and will like to share is that growth is such a slow and hard process. Then there’s also the role of the sun and water which to me symbolizes the kind and amount of energy, influence and information we expose ourselves to. The sun is good for plants but when it becomes too much it burns that same plant and the same goes for the rain. As they say overwatering a plant is more dangerous than not watering it at all.

In a nutshell, growth is a gradual process and even if it seems or feels like you’re in a difficult time remember that the seedlings are first buried in the soil before they actually sprout and embark on their gradual journeys to maturity. So take it easy on yourself and surround yourself with the right energy and the right kind of influence.

Hey family! I know, I know, it’s a pretty long read but hey it was totally worth it wasn’t it? 😁😁🤗🤗. Don’t forget to drop your two cents in the comment section below, like and share. Have a lovely rest of the day and week. 😘😘😘

I’ve always favored funerals; pause and think about it. In funerals, you get to see human nature at its best display of empathy. You also get a glimpse into the life of a person, or at least into whatever people paint his or her life to have been. The most intriguing thing to me though, is how no one ever says anything bad about the deceased. No one! And for those who clearly had a rough ride with the dead, English never fails to supply words with which to paint such a ride as anything but bad. It really is amazing.

My favorite part of funerals or death in general is the effect it has on the living. The dawning of the reality that the corpse could as well have been us is probably the most eye-opening truth ever. This however, doesn’t end there, the resolutions and self-reflections start and the most famous question ever asked after death comes up; “what would people remember you for.” Personally, this was the most ridiculous thing ever. I always told myself that a few fake tear-drops and an epistle laced with artifice were good enough for me, after all I wouldn’t be there to care.

This however didn’t stop me from having the 30 minutes’ drive down reminiscence or the regret of unachieved but achievable goals. Social media wasn’t any better, the motivational speeches and the sympathy towards the dead were all so gloomy and dark, brightened by the ever-green sermon of making impact and leaving a legacy. Recently though I’ve been thinking; maybe there is a different and better perspective through which the adage “what would people remember you for” can be looked at. I have come to realize that the focus is all misplaced as “people” in this sense should not be the motivation.

We really shouldn’t want to live our lives thinking of what people would remember us for, when we are not even sure we will know half the people at our burials. Rather, why not live our lives thinking of what we want to remember ourselves for and in the process impact our environment. When I look back, I want to be proud of what I see and be able to pat my head at a job well done. I’m not saying to throw away people’s opinions into the trash, all I’m saying is, instead of using peoples after thoughts of you as the yard stick of how you live your life, why not use a yardstick that dictates exactly the kind of life you would look back on and smile. Above all, if you are like me and you believe in a greater force, of which I see no reason why you shouldn’t, then you would know that the real drive should be the joy and sense of fulfilment you would get when you return your 5 talents and proudly present 5 more just to hear the words “well done good and faithful servant, enter into your rest.” Wise up people! People will remember what they will remember, adjust your lenses and redirect your focus. You determine what you want to remember yourself for. In the words of Chadwick Boseman “you should be the hero in your own story…”

You must have heard this old saying, “Twenty children cannot play together for twenty years” countless times and you must have also gotten tired of hearing that no two people’s paths in life are the same. As cliché as that has gotten, there’s no overemphasizing it, because it’s gospel. Think about when you were five, and if you can, think about all your close friends at the time, are you still inseparable? Do they still come to your house every day? Do you seek them out like you did several years ago? I think not, you might have even lost contact with many of them. As for me, I can only remember one friend from when I was five and as you have rightly guessed we are not in contact. I bet if we saw today, I wouldn’t have more than one sentence to say to her. It’s nobody’s fault, we can only blame the transient nature of life for this.

Permit me to use yet another cliché, yes, it’s the one you’re thinking about, the one about life being a train and people being passengers on that train with different destinations. As old as that may be, it is also true. As you grow through different stages of your life, you come in contact with different people. People that you never fathomed you would meet, some to whom you open the arms of friendship to and some to whom you don’t. You would realize that every person you’ve ever met has been essential to your life and has taught you one or two lessons. While this is a good theme for discussion, it would be for another day.

The thing about people on a train or a bus is that, they have one thing in common, which is the fact that they all have a destination. It’s easy to initiate a chat with a passenger, become fast friends and maybe even besties but one thing about these passengers is that no matter how distracted they get, they never forget their destination. Have you ever been so consumed in a conversation with someone that you forgot your stop? Let’s say you did get engrossed and the bus passed your stop, but when you noticed what did you do? I’m sure you hollered at the driver to stop and when you got down, you walked down or took yet another bus and started to your original location.

There are many things that could distract us, make us question our pretension and lose focus of our destinations or who we are called to be. Sometimes those things would have us subjugate ourselves to wishful thinking and utopic imaginations; things that cannot be and when we start comparing our present reality with what we have imagined or with those people around us that seem to have it good, it gets us down and depressed. Yes, we are all passengers on that train called life and for some of us, our destinations are farther than others. So when you are feeling down because you feel like your friends seem to have things figured out and you don’t, remember that it’s just a matter of when and not if; you will surely reach your destination.

Howdy dearies! I hope you had a lovely read? Don’t forget to like, follow, share and drop your two cents in the comment section below. Have a lovely rest of the week! 😘😘❤❤

With these few years of mine, I have come to the safe conclusion that, people only let you see what they want you to see. How did I realise this wisdom, you ask? Well, lets just say it sprung from my self pity and the continual saying of the slang “this life no balance”. I had reached the point where every Instagram post made me question my account balance and my life in general and where every glimpse of people’s love lives made me sigh and say “e be things”.

• 

This was until I had to tell my heart to calm down because the reality is that this life indeed no balance, which is why I cannot kill myself. The good thing about feeling sorry for yourself is that if you’re smart enough and in love with your mental health, you start to see things clearly and then you give yourself a pep talk. So I slowly came to the realisation that out here in the streets, ain’t nobody airing their dirty laundry for the world to see.

• 

Everything is about perspective. You have to gradually and consciously remind yourself that there is more than meets the eye. Am I saying that these people are fake? No, but I am saying that there is no need to put yourself under unnecessary pressure just because the person beside you is on a 4 hours call with their partner while you interlock your fingers and imagine it is someone else holding you. Do not be quick to look down on yourself or water down your accomplishments just because the next person seems to be doing better. It is only you as an individual that knows where it hurts, and I have come to realise that people would rather keep a straight face and pose for social media than cry for help.

• 

The pressure is so real, it’s slowly driving us crazy. I guess the day I first learnt this lesson was when a friend, who to me was in a perfect relationship that I had envied for a long time, burst into tears and gave the whole “behind the scenes” struggles that no one had ever heard of. I had to pause and come to the realization that I had been beating up myself, wishing for something that someone was desperately trying to throw away. But like I said, this life no balance.

• 

Sometimes we spend so much time living in other peoples shoes and wondering how our lives would be if we were born into their worlds. Well, here’s a check for you; you are yourself, you’re where you are right now and sorry, no amount of “I wish I was this person” would change that. But before you dive into a sea of self pity and comparison, remember that we are all humans striving to find our paths in this world. The best thing you can do for yourself, is to grow into someone you can always envy. Picture the best version of yourself and be that person. Not someone else but an updated version of yourself.

As silly as the statement, “drink water and mind your business” seems, it is one of the most basic underlying principles that should guide everyday interactions. I always found this statement to be silly and would always silently scoff at people that would bash their statuses with it; well, this was until I started paying a closer attention to interactions around me and I realised that about 70% of the time, when you come across people discussing, they are conversing on things that have no direct connection to them. It’s almost like they were paid to sit around and just have a colloquy about everything and nothing.

In our generation, it is a plague that is slowly ravaging us. It is this same habit that breeds other things like back-biting, which in turn vomits malice and hatred. That is why it’s no surprise that a lot of people have beefs with faceless individuals igniting from a gist they heard, whether or not they are sure about its authenticity. The first time I realised how sick most of us are, was the day I was walking with a friend and it was so awkward cause we literally had nothing to say to each other; we both knew it was awkward and then my friend started talking about a gist she heard about someone else and just like that, every atom of awkwardness was gone.

Thinking about it now, I realise that a lot of relationships are founded on how many irrelevant topics you can offer and hardly any intelligent discussion that can stimulate a drive for success or perseverance towards the glamorous life we all want to live. Its surprising how this simple art of minding ones business, if mastered, can solve a lot of our problems. It is this art that births the wisdom of knowing when to speak, deciphering between things that need to be voiced and things that should be thrown out. It goes further into realising that it is not everything you see that you comment on; and a lot of us will come to realise that there is a subtle line between being blunt and blabbering. Funny how even the sensitive topic of body shaming can be stopped by this very art.

A deliberate effort to engage in at least one productive conversation a day can be the trigger you need until anything that isn’t stimulating you mentally becomes repulsive. Therefore, Fill the holes in your lips, place a sieve between your eyes and mouth and grow a refuse bin within, where all the unproductive conversations can be buried never to be heard.